|Susan’s Rant – June
Between comedy gigs and events, I freelance
back in the corporate world. My new freelance gig requires me to
spend some time in the great city of Philadelphia. Besides the awesome
heart clogging cheese steaks, the main item you need in Philadelphia
is a car. Luckily, the team I am working with has one designated driver
that I call Carboy and has become my new hero.
Carboy chauffeurs three women around in his
tricked out white Lincoln Continental. At first glance, he looks like
a suburban pimp.
Carboy is married with children but still has the physique of a less
steroid Hulk Hogan but larger than Chuck Norris. The homeless guy that
he gave a couple of bucks had the best description of him:
“Wow, I’m telling everyone that
you are a great guy and you give to the homeless. Thank you, Mike Schmidt.” Philadelphia
homeless guy said. (For those non-sport fanatics like me, he is a Phillies
baseball player hall of famer.)
What makes Carboy so special and more than a typical suburban family
guy? He is in touch with his feminine side but still very much a straight
man. This hulking man is secure enough with himself that he owns a teacup
sized terrier and admits he is a neat freak. He is such a neat freak
that the local housewives give him the newest formula of Windex to test
out since he cleans all of his windows religiously including the skylight.
Carboy is genuinely nice to everyone and even
stops the car for children and senior citizens.
All heroes have some imperfections and I have to admit Carboy does
have one. Even though he is very respectively of most women, he has
some issues with dominating women from New York City or maybe it’s
The main reason for Carboy being my hero is that he drives his women
to stores, nail salons and bars.
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