Susan Alexander
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Susan Alexander
  Susan’s Rant – Week of October 1st

Does Size Matter?

Depends on what you are talking about. In sex, yes it does. In actual shapes of people I guest it depends on the person. My friends who are petite want to have larger breasts and my friends who are carrying around extra weight want to wear those low-rider pants. No one is ever happy.

Having a petite Korean mother who at her heaviest (pregnant with me) was 125 lbs was also a struggle for me to relate to her and her to relate to me. I think I first outweighed my mother when I was 12 years old. I passed my mother in bra size when I was 14 years old along with being about five inches taller than her. Through out my life I have fluctuated between sizes 12-20. Right now, I am a size 16 and size 14 (if I buy more expensive designer labels). Many women don't know this, but the designer labels will actually make a size 8 that is really actually a size 10. Because, in fashion size does matter to women willing to buy a designer outfit and not be the acceptable size they need to be in their minds. Women, please stop kidding yourself. We all fall into this trap. It isn't the size that matters but that the outfit that looks good on the person!  I try to dress to accentuate certain parts of my assets.

Yes, I do love my breasts - Over 12 billion served and still counting.

Of course, my mother still thinks I have some improving to do. My mother wanted to be helpful and says to tell me that she will pay for surgery to remove my 'Kangaroo pouch.' For now, my 'Kangaroo pouch' is getting a little smaller but it is staying with me. My 'Kangaroo pouch' is my badge of honor/reminder of my many decadent meals, night out drinking with my friends and stress from not following my passions. I do not want or have a desire to go to Dr. 90120 or better called Dr. Frankenstein to have this removed.  I think plastic surgery's initial purpose was to help accident victims and the very rich which had a place in society. Now that we have 'main stream' and made plastic surgery as easy as getting a Happy Meal, I do not think children and adults are going to learn values of taking care of themselves. I take pride that I make sure to do 30 minutes a day to have some sort of aerobic activity to prevent me from having a heart attack and give me energy to be on stage. But I think what many people do not realize, even though you get the fat sucked out of you, you will have to work out and keep it off. When people always want to make changes to their bodies, they need to really wake up and be thankful for what they have. I suggest volunteering at a cancer ward where these women have no breasts and are losing weight so rapidly they can not even get out of bed.

Being a full-figured, voluptuous, Rubenesque, and fat woman, is what I realize I am and am proud to be.  Some people are not use to seeing a confident, well-dressed, attractive woman who is willing to talk about her weight. I do not think I need to wear a sweat suit or look like I just rolled out of bed to go on stage to talk about my size. My mother/manager's advice:

'Susan, Mommy ask you one favor if you do comedy. I watch TV and see comedians. They wear t-shirts and jeans and look sloppy. They look sloppy because no one loves them. Only, Mommy tell you truth.'

Sometimes, I do take my mother's advice.

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