Susan’s Rant – December
Ever since this drug has become available over the counter, I am addicted.
I love Crest White Strips!
White teeth are no longer a luxury item, now everyone can have really
white teeth that damage your enamel. My addiction was first noticed by one
of my friends telling me I need to be careful and not have Chicklet gum
Sometimes I dream of having teeth so white
they become invisible.
Crest White Strips allow me to cover my other addictions
to coffee and social cigarette smoking which means I only smoke when
I drink. Calling this social smoking allows me to live in denial about
With my fresh new white teeth, I went out drinking
and smoking with a friend of mine at a local bar. Living up to my mother’s
new nickname for me, BAR GIRL! Bar Girl sounds like a new kind of superhero.
I will have to trademark that name.
With my Chicklet white teeth, Bar Girl started chatting
up a very attractive soap opera actor/philosopher. Of course, I start
imagining this hot guy as arm candy at future award shows. Then we
all get our fourth/fifth round of drinks and my friend makes a toast
and says ‘God Bless America.’
“I will not toast to God Bless America. Why can’t
it be God Bless the Universe? I will not just toast America, that’s
not right.” My fabulous escort to future awards shows said and
storms out of the bar.
Watching my hot communist runaway, I realized I will
just have to take a gay man as an escort to my future award shows. The
award shows include mostly women and gay men anyways. At least, I know
we will both have Chicklet white teeth.
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